Thursday, January 22, 2009

Questioning


This year of promise and change has started off rocky. I'm sick of the cold we moved from Iowa to escape. I'm sick of being in doors all the time. I'm sick of being cold. I believe my thyroid has gotten worse, I'm choking all the time and my skin is terrible dry, and my hair is thinning. Shit what else is going on. Yes, I'm usually happy, I'm happy inside, I just have to vent. The dog pees on the floor if I vent to him..........I am looking forward to spring with exuberance. Peace

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Amused with myself, Part 2

I feel that I must clarify my entry from Saturday. Saturday was a blue sucky day and my entry reflected my feelings. I want to add that I have met some WONDERFUL individuals since I've been here, some face to face, some via email and blogs. I am not being a snob or stereotyping people from Kentucky, I was mearly making observations of differences in society. I don't want to be judge nor jury, but, I do have opinions though.
I do not respect nor appreciate the following things here: the political system a.k.a "the Good Ole Boys", the work ethic or lack of work ethic, or the lack in respect for others and others belongs. I find the masses of people here choose to live off the government, could care less about education, or improving themselves in any way, shape or from. They escape, thus the proliferation of drug use here. I was told that Kentuckians were fiercely independent, I have found just the opposite, they live off the government, they are lazy and very dependent on society to "fix" their self made problems. There was a time in my life that I couldn't rub two nickles together, but through determination and hard work, I am no longer in that predicament. I took no aid, I did without, and I feel good that I was not a burden, but became who I am by with I went through. Now, I'm not looking for everyone to emulate me, heck no, just stand on your own two feet. Care about yourself, your children, and their children. Poverty, ignorance, laziness begets the same. I am disappointed in many of the people of Kentucky who will go through life being a leach instead of their own person.
Now back to my original intent for this entry. I want to thank: Beverly and Jody, Millie, Maggie, Donna and Dave, Gin, Mary and Gary, and I want to mention Eileen and Craig who like us are new to Kentucky but need to be part of this group, ya'll have treated us like family and I am thankful that you are part of our new life in Kentucky. You are what real Kentuckians are and have the spirit that makes Kentuckians special and for that we are grateful. Peace has been restored.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Amused with myself

I am amused with my daughters blog in that she is 34 and has the big "W" going. "W" as in wondering what's going on in her life, that amuses me as at my age I should have a half-assed idea of what is going on in my, and I am a tad bit older than 34. So, I am amused with myself, thinking that moving 9-10 hours away would be an adventure. As these cold months drag on here in the "warm south" if find myself as cloistered as I was in Iowa. It's too damn cold to do stuff outside, and inside, well, it's inside. I have found that the cost of living is about the same as in Iowa, it's just that the salary's are far less, so money is tight. I do trust the Lord to take care of us, don't get me wrong, but tight is tight. I do make $$ doing my thing, but extras are few and far between. Now really I shouldn't be writing this at all, cuz my kids will see it and worry. So don't worry. I'm just having a "blue" day. I re watched the last "Men in Trees" episode, made me cry all over again. Sometimes things don't work out as you think they will. One is left with their mouths hanging open in surprise.
Jeff, my sweetheart has to work so many hours, he's getting older, it leaves him tired, the pay is lousy, and so he's in a rut, a rut created by this archaic society here in the small minded south. Is it that ruts are ruts, and we fall into them so easy, or does life slap you down to keep you humble? He works so much, that there is nothing left in him when he comes home or the weekend comes, nowhere to go, no energy for fun and he doesn't get paid time off, so there is nothing to look forward to, no vacations here in "Kentuckyland". We live in a beautiful home on the lake, great views, but he has to work so there is no time for fun excursions. He's too tired from working hard all day. I feel frustrated for him.
The drivers here come from hell, they are either uneducated and drive without a license, and I'm sure not insurace, or they are drunk, or high. In July I was T-boned by an ignorant bastard, he bent the frame of our car, blamed me sowe had to dip into our savings to get a new car, because he ran a red light, probably high on something, driving his momm's car, with her insurance. I must mention he hit someone else 8 days later in his momma's other car. JERK. So, we were out, I was slightly hurt, and really pissed off. Ah, did I mention that there is ignorance, drugs, thief's, liars, and cheats oh, and did I mention uneducated people in great numbers down here? They tax your ass off, and do it with a smile. "Honey or Darlin", is that word that goes with every sentence, and it's said just to keep one from smashing their faces in when they charge you up with wazoo for something that should not cost so much, because they are screwing you with a smile. You pay tax on vehicles no longer owned, now they are even taxing our insurance policy on our home, it added about $200 to our bill. JERKS!
Yes, I'm homesick, yes, I miss my kids, grand kids, friends, job and a normal society structure. Yes, there is snow, cold and misery there, but at least I know the ins and outs of the area. Here, we are "northerners", outsiders, it sucks, I mean really sucks! Jeff said last night, he feels lost, like he doesn't belong. I know he's frustrated at work with all the hubbub, drugs, and lack of skilled labor he deals with each and everyday. They bust his balls all the time, if he takes a day off here and there. They don't ask him for overtime cuz the "boss man's" son is back and he (druggie) needs the dough more than us (let's all ignore the elephant in the office, let's enable him to keep pooping on everyone!!!! BASTARDS). He was yelled at by the owner yesterday because he built a cabinet the way he was told to by the foreman. F##ers! This is a perfect example of what is dealt with daily, the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is going. I don't know if I'll ever understand this place!!! Or, fit in.....SUCKS is the word today, not peace...........I hope I find peace soon.
Pay no attention to the crazy woman behind the curtain Toto!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

I learned something new this weekend!


I have learned a very important lesson this weekend in that I can't be everything to everyone. I used to love to solve problems, give me a situation, and I'll come up with a pretty good solution..........well, at least I thought it was a good solution. Ha! Well, being the "nice" person that I am, I have been trying to update a computer for a friend for the past 3 weeks. I am stopped every turn I take. Yesterday after two-and one-half hours of pulling out my hair, I have come to the conclusion, that this particular "thing" cannot be conquered! I look back on the 3 weeks given to this problem as a waste of time, time that I could have been doing fun things or being productive, instead of loosing my mind, gaining wrinkles and gray hairs. Believe me, I have lost sleep trying to wrangle something that cannot be wrangled. So, I'm beat. I'm vanquished. In other words, I quit. I surrender, give up, walk away, with my head held low. I'm frustrated, sad and perplexed. This is NOT how I want to spend my days, so from here on out, got a computer problem or any problem, get an expert, but DON'T CALL ME! I am a good wife, mother, grandmother, "virtual assistant", and jewelry designer, but I am not and cannot do everthing I think I should do. I must learn to say "no" again. Let the "Geek Squad" handle computers. I need to stay in my "happy place" in my wee little mind and watch the birds chirp, the trees sway, and have a good cup of coffee. I know I'm weak, and insipid, but I'm usually happy and happy was not the word that described me yesterday...the word vicious, and ready to drop kick a computer come to mind. I am ready for PEACE!