Wednesday, December 19, 2007

A different kind of Christmas

We are going to have a different kind of Christmas this year. Away from our children for the first time since they were born. You see, I was a lucky girl growing up, all the family lived nearby. (The photo is from the late 60's, at my grandparents home for Christmas. That's me second in on the right, sitting between my grandmothers who I adored.) Yes, we were lucky. As we grew older we could visit our grandparents, parents anytime, and take our childrent to see them at will. As children, my brother and I could have a sleep over anytime at one of our grandparents on a moment's notice. Time has passed and only my brother and I are left from that photo, and because I was the oldest it was up to me to provide that "home" feeling for our children and the grandchildren. Large family feasts, time to laugh and love were many. I did what I knew I had to do, and so did my brother and his family, we gathered together and I loved it, but I also ached to see new places, have new adventures. Live where it's warmer, slower, different. Why, I'm not sure, but I always looked over the next hill most of my life. Not that I wasn't satisfied, because I was, I just wanted to see more. Having a new experience, I guess I didn't realize that it meant leaving behind. My mother's brothers always lived "away", I wonder if they thought about what they missed over the years? So as this Christmas nears, I have an ache in my heart, that I won't be with our kids and grand kids this year. (Big sigh...) Regret our move, no. Regret what I will miss, yes. The eyes of the little ones, all big with excitement and wonder, yes, I regret I'll miss that. The laughter, noise and ciaos, yes, I'll regret missing all of that. Our children know the love we have for them, the grandchildren too, but the hugs and kisses that will be missed hurts the most. So, this WILL be a different kind of Christmas, blown kisses and silly faces between us on the web-cam will have to suffice this year. But there will be a day soon, when the car will be packed and the animals will have to endure a trip to Iowa again to fill us up on hugs and kisses and time with the ones we love. Peace.........

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