Days go by

As I look back and read my recently posted blogs I see a very selfish person. I am not that person. I am a joyous, a born-again believer. I let my circumstances dictate my mood. Shame on me. I have always had a good outlook on life even when everything around me was dark. What happened these past few months?
I think the main cause was missing my family in Iowa. Oh, poor me crept in, and bang, Nasty Woman showed her ugly head.
I have decided to live my life fully, look up for that is where my redemption comes from and stop feeling sorry for myself. Even when I was writing those biting words I knew others had it much worse than me. I am ashamed of myself and with the Lord's help, will get my kickin' spirit back. Please forgive me..........Peace

Questioning

This year of promise and change has started off rocky. I'm sick of the cold we moved from Iowa to escape. I'm sick of being in doors all the time. I'm sick of being cold. I believe my thyroid has gotten worse, I'm choking all the time and my skin is terrible dry, and my hair is thinning. Shit what else is going on. Yes, I'm usually happy, I'm happy inside, I just have to vent. The dog pees on the floor if I vent to him..........I am looking forward to spring with exuberance. Peace

Amused with myself, Part 2

I feel that I must clarify my entry from Saturday. Saturday was a blue sucky day and my entry reflected my feelings. I want to add that I have met some WONDERFUL individuals since I've been here, some face to face, some via email and blogs. I am not being a snob or stereotyping people from Kentucky, I was mearly making observations of differences in society. I don't want to be judge nor jury, but, I do have opinions though.
I do not respect nor appreciate the following things here: the political system a.k.a "the Good Ole Boys", the work ethic or lack of work ethic, or the lack in respect for others and others belongs. I find the masses of people here choose to live off the government, could care less about education, or improving themselves in any way, shape or from. They escape, thus the proliferation of drug use here. I was told that Kentuckians were fiercely independent, I have found just the opposite, they live off the government, they are lazy and very dependent on society to "fix" their self made problems. There was a time in my life that I couldn't rub two nickles together, but through determination and hard work, I am no longer in that predicament. I took no aid, I did without, and I feel good that I was not a burden, but became who I am by with I went through. Now, I'm not looking for everyone to emulate me, heck no, just stand on your own two feet. Care about yourself, your children, and their children. Poverty, ignorance, laziness begets the same. I am disappointed in many of the people of Kentucky who will go through life being a leach instead of their own person.
Now back to my original intent for this entry. I want to thank: Beverly and Jody, Millie, Maggie, Donna and Dave, Gin, Mary and Gary, and I want to mention Eileen and Craig who like us are new to Kentucky but need to be part of this group, ya'll have treated us like family and I am thankful that you are part of our new life in Kentucky. You are what real Kentuckians are and have the spirit that makes Kentuckians special and for that we are grateful. Peace has been restored.

Amused with myself

I am amused with my daughters blog in that she is 34 and has the big "W" going. "W" as in wondering what's going on in her life, that amuses me as at my age I should have a half-assed idea of what is going on in my, and I am a tad bit older than 34. So, I am amused with myself, thinking that moving 9-10 hours away would be an adventure. As these cold months drag on here in the "warm south" if find myself as cloistered as I was in Iowa. It's too damn cold to do stuff outside, and inside, well, it's inside. I have found that the cost of living is about the same as in Iowa, it's just that the salary's are far less, so money is tight. I do trust the Lord to take care of us, don't get me wrong, but tight is tight. I do make $$ doing my thing, but extras are few and far between. Now really I shouldn't be writing this at all, cuz my kids will see it and worry. So don't worry. I'm just having a "blue" day. I re watched the last "Men in Trees" episode, made me cry all over again. Sometimes things don't work out as you think they will. One is left with their mouths hanging open in surprise.
Jeff, my sweetheart has to work so many hours, he's getting older, it leaves him tired, the pay is lousy, and so he's in a rut, a rut created by this archaic society here in the small minded south. Is it that ruts are ruts, and we fall into them so easy, or does life slap you down to keep you humble? He works so much, that there is nothing left in him when he comes home or the weekend comes, nowhere to go, no energy for fun and he doesn't get paid time off, so there is nothing to look forward to, no vacations here in "Kentuckyland". We live in a beautiful home on the lake, great views, but he has to work so there is no time for fun excursions. He's too tired from working hard all day. I feel frustrated for him.
The drivers here come from hell, they are either uneducated and drive without a license, and I'm sure not insurace, or they are drunk, or high. In July I was T-boned by an ignorant bastard, he bent the frame of our car, blamed me sowe had to dip into our savings to get a new car, because he ran a red light, probably high on something, driving his momm's car, with her insurance. I must mention he hit someone else 8 days later in his momma's other car. JERK. So, we were out, I was slightly hurt, and really pissed off. Ah, did I mention that there is ignorance, drugs, thief's, liars, and cheats oh, and did I mention uneducated people in great numbers down here? They tax your ass off, and do it with a smile. "Honey or Darlin", is that word that goes with every sentence, and it's said just to keep one from smashing their faces in when they charge you up with wazoo for something that should not cost so much, because they are screwing you with a smile. You pay tax on vehicles no longer owned, now they are even taxing our insurance policy on our home, it added about $200 to our bill. JERKS!
Yes, I'm homesick, yes, I miss my kids, grand kids, friends, job and a normal society structure. Yes, there is snow, cold and misery there, but at least I know the ins and outs of the area. Here, we are "northerners", outsiders, it sucks, I mean really sucks! Jeff said last night, he feels lost, like he doesn't belong. I know he's frustrated at work with all the hubbub, drugs, and lack of skilled labor he deals with each and everyday. They bust his balls all the time, if he takes a day off here and there. They don't ask him for overtime cuz the "boss man's" son is back and he (druggie) needs the dough more than us (let's all ignore the elephant in the office, let's enable him to keep pooping on everyone!!!! BASTARDS). He was yelled at by the owner yesterday because he built a cabinet the way he was told to by the foreman. F##ers! This is a perfect example of what is dealt with daily, the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is going. I don't know if I'll ever understand this place!!! Or, fit in.....SUCKS is the word today, not peace...........I hope I find peace soon.
Pay no attention to the crazy woman behind the curtain Toto!

I learned something new this weekend!

I have learned a very important lesson this weekend in that I can't be everything to everyone. I used to love to solve problems, give me a situation, and I'll come up with a pretty good solution..........well, at least I thought it was a good solution. Ha! Well, being the "nice" person that I am, I have been trying to update a computer for a friend for the past 3 weeks. I am stopped every turn I take. Yesterday after two-and one-half hours of pulling out my hair, I have come to the conclusion, that this particular "thing" cannot be conquered! I look back on the 3 weeks given to this problem as a waste of time, time that I could have been doing fun things or being productive, instead of loosing my mind, gaining wrinkles and gray hairs. Believe me, I have lost sleep trying to wrangle something that cannot be wrangled. So, I'm beat. I'm vanquished. In other words, I quit. I surrender, give up, walk away, with my head held low. I'm frustrated, sad and perplexed. This is NOT how I want to spend my days, so from here on out, got a computer problem or any problem, get an expert, but DON'T CALL ME! I am a good wife, mother, grandmother, "virtual assistant", and jewelry designer, but I am not and cannot do everthing I think I should do. I must learn to say "no" again. Let the "Geek Squad" handle computers. I need to stay in my "happy place" in my wee little mind and watch the birds chirp, the trees sway, and have a good cup of coffee. I know I'm weak, and insipid, but I'm usually happy and happy was not the word that described me yesterday...the word vicious, and ready to drop kick a computer come to mind. I am ready for PEACE!

Thoughts from, oh I forgot what I was doing!

I guess I have too much to do, I don't sleep much, I walk into a room and forget why I'm here. Geeeeze if that's getting older, then...............yikes. I have quite a bit to do today, tomorrow, and the rest of the week, I want to procrastinate, but won't. Just as I get older, I think I'm more stubborn in what I'm willing to do, I love my independence, and will take it to the last degree, before I ultimately give in...........hahahahahaha. Oh, that was a good one.

Anyway, here are the things I want to do in 2009. Not in any certain order...

1. Loose the extra pounds I've been carrying around since my youngest daughter was born 30 years ago.

2. Yoga

3. Ride the Blue Ridge Parkway on my motorcycle

4. Eat more Thai food, yummy!!

5. Play more, work less, but make the same amount of money!

6. Get a grip on reality - #5 prompted #6

7. Delight more customers with my jewelry

8. See my family more than once a year!

9. Be assured my grandchildren actually know who I am and want to know more.....

Ok, 9 is enough, it ends with the year number 9. Simple is my mantra. Peace

The older I get, the faster time goes by.....

I'm sure you've all heard that expression or experienced this yourself. But, hey, I feel I have alot of things I want to do still. I was reading my Harley magazine this morning, and I want to put some serious mileage on my bike next year. I have not ridden much since I've gotten to Kentucky, (mainly because most of the the drivers here are crazy.) I want to do the Blue Ridge Parkway, I'd like to ride through the Smokey Mountains NP. I'd like to ride to SC and see my aunt and uncles. One gal in the magazine has put over 200,000 miles on her bikes. Whoa, sounds like a goal to me. Life is too short, I want more. Why do some of us wait to live? Some people need a life altering experience to get them off their duffs. I've always tried to live a bit on the edge, but I know I'm not close enough to the edge yet, to go full throttle. I want more......more experiences.........more fun, less hassles....just more. My cup is always full, I just need to drink more from it and then when I die, I'll have no regrets from here on out. I may not be famous, but I'm here and I'm going to leave a skid mark when I go. Peace!

Off and running like a herd of turtles

Some days I just cannot get it together...........no really I mean it. I'm scattered at best. I do have a routine that I try to incorporate in my life, but at times it doesn't' work out like I want. I would like to add some stretching and yoga into my daily routine.....the only stretching so far that I've gotten into is reaching for the coffee pot. LOL.. I would like to have a mulligan on my choice of care of my body as I matured. OK? I know that's not possible,... but,... how does one make themselves do what they no longer like. I used to be VERY athletic, I was on the track team, tennis team, I taught PE my senior year of high school, in college, I fenced (not on the black market), took swimming, walked, skated, rode a bike everywhere...........now that most of my body has gone south and further south than Kentucky, I'm wishing I'd kept up with that as I got older, and heck now that I'm pretty old, it's catching up with me. OK, I'm going to quit whining now, and go get my Yoga DVD and put it in the player and enjoy my coffee while I watch it...........Peace!

I voted

I voted this morning at 6:30 a.m.....there were no lines, but hey I live near a small town, (thank goodness). Go vote, it's important! Peace

Time Change

I love falling back, it's easy, it gets light earlier, can you tell I'm a morning person? I don't like it getting dark so early, but hey, if we didn't do everything "by time", we'd not know the difference. Native Americans didn't run around with watches and had to "hurry", or get stressed out by "running late", they lived with the flow of nature. I'm sure they got stressed out by lack of food, or getting very cold out on the plain....but not by time, they lived by doing and by watching nature. I try to get things done early so I have the day to do what I want and by the time the sun goes down, I'm ready to relax and get to sleep. I do not wear a watch, I carry a cell phone with the time on it, but most of the time, I don't know, nor care what time it is. Whew, three "time" words in that last sentence..............see how much importance we put on time? Ok, I'll quit now, it's time to work. Peace!

It's quieter now

Autumn has descended on our area, the days are shorter, the nights much longer, I am looking forward to December 21st, when the days start to get longer again.

The house is much quieter now, the kids have gone back to Iowa and their busy lives. I look forward to the possibility of my brother and sister-in-law coming down for Thanksgiving. That would be a nice break for them. They deserve it, they work hard, they have not gotten away, just the two of them for a long long time, I hope they come.

I am back at it, I'm working on jewelry for my website. I created a whole line for the gallery in Savannah, GA, and now I must repopulate my site with goodies for the eyes. So today that is the plan, I've had a some ideas rumbling around in my head, and I need to see them come to reality. I love the quiet activity of creation, however Duke hates not sitting on my lap. Peace!

Fun with Beck and Brad

On Sunday last we took a train trip into the Big Southfork National Recreational Area near our home. We took Becky and Brad out for the day and made some great memories. This train winds down the mountain, into valley's, through abandoned coal mines, ghost towns of shorts, across rivers, one goes back in time to another era. The weather was perfect, the sky was blue, the trees were in all their glory, and our daughter was here..............what more could we ask for?!? Beck and Brad gave us a whole week, Jeff and Brad fished on Wednesday, Beck and I played cards with the "girls", we ate, drank a little wine, walked in the leaves, and I loved them being here. The weather was perfect, cool and crisp, and them to the 80's, then back to cool. This morning it was in the upper 30's, extra blankets, I'm not ready for that cool yet. We rode the golf cart, shopped, laughed, made plans, and enjoyed each other. Becky saw a much more relaxed mother, happy and content. Heck she even saw me run.....our dog Duke took after a fox that ran across the street and up into the woods, and I was still in my PJ's and took out after him. I guess this old girl still has a bit of spunk, no track star, but I caught our dog and got him home.
Here's Becky with the "girls", these are the women of my mountain whom I've become part of there life and they mine...we play the card game; "Hand and Foot" every Wednesday, we talk about EVERYTHING from food to men, to life, and back to food. I enjoy the diversity in the ages, and lifestyles. These women are gracious, kind, generous, and I'm thankful they are in my and Jeff's life. They welcomed Becky as a daughter, she brought 2 bottles of Octoberfest wine from Galena, Il with her, they were gone before we knew it and so was the day. We had a few more days of bliss, and then Becky and Brad left this morning after breakfast, back to Iowa, to their home, their jobs and busy lives, I'm thankful they gave us a week of the precious time off and shared it with us. Peace.

Oh, I've added some of the other photos to the slide show on the left of this screen , if you double click on the slideshow, it will open into a larger new screen, I hope you enjoy them....

They're Heeerrrrreee!

I'm so tickled Beck and Brad have arrived and it's like we've not been seperated by time and space. Sunday we took the train down into the Big Southfork National Recreation Area, just south of our place, and had a ball. The day was warm, the sun was bright and all is well in the world. I'd love to have the whole family down here someday, we'd tear the place up with fun and giggles. Our autumn has been beautiful so far, out trees are already heavy with color, crimsons, ochres, garnets, blood oranges, breathtaking! I'm glad the kids could see our mountains full of texture and colors. Brad wants to fish today, so he's going down the road to Mary and Gary's dock and drown a few worms. I plan of just enjoying the fleeting time with our oldest and her hubby their time here will be too short. Peace!

I am counting the hours until they arrive

The kids are coming, the kids are coming. For a whole week, what fun we'll have, and they can destress, unwind and breath. Both Brad and Becky have stressful jobs, they are a busy couple socially, spiritually, they always are running here and there....now in Kentucky, you go up yonder and sit a spell.........we'll do that too. The trees are beautiful right now, the earth is starting to take a sit too, so we'll just enjoy the peace and quite, take a little golf cart ride, a train ride and fish alittle too. I can't wait until they are here! Peace!

Sadness

In my post just before this I spoke of my grandchildren and the joy they bring, and with that I wrote of the promise of a new life to grace the face of the Earth next year. This was not meant to be, little Naomi Rae went to be with the Lord yesterday, and I never was able to see her face. But, someday I will. Peace