March 1, 2011

March is finally here, our local Goldfinches are back, so are the Bluebirds and the Robins.  We've had quite a bit of snow and rain last month and our lake is latte brown and up about 5 feet.  We had 3 inches of rain yesterday, so it will be a while until our beautiful lake is clear again.
The reason I named this post March 1, 2011 is in honor of my Grandmother Helen.  Today would have been her 106th Birthday.  I lost her in 1999, but she is still with me.  She taught me how to explore everything.  Color, texture, design, were important to her.  She always had a project going, and she loved to create fun activities when I would stay for a visit.  What I learned from here was that really the only boundaries there are, are the ones we make for ourselves.  As I have gotten older, I have learned to really not try to have boundaries, in design especially.  I'm not afraid to try new, I love to explore new and try to master all. So, Happy Birthday Grandma, I love you and you have no idea how your love shaped me into the woman, and designer I am today.  This is a photo of my Grandmother and Mother sharing a kiss!  Sweet!

Dress A Girl Around the World

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Why in the world

Why in the world to people work so hard at being mean?  Why in the world don't they use that energy for good?  We are a funny creature, if there's no strife we find ways to make things stressful.  If somebody is happy someone always tries to find a way to take that away from the one who's happy.  Misery does love company.  I have an acquaintance that is not stable, this person vacillates from happy, to pissed off, to loving, to crying and can achieve this in the spance of 5 seconds.  I was brought to tears by the person because they thought I had  done something that I had not done.  I was completely caught off guard and stripped down, naked and humiliated by their words.  I was a mess.  This persons articulation of accusations and verbal abuse, I was reduced at first to tears, and then to anger that the thought of being capable of the accusers accusations that our knowledge of each other has never quite healed.  This will never happen again.  The reason I am writing on a past experience with this person is that they are at it again.  So, to set my cosmic energy back to being in balance I proclaim that I am who I am, I'm a WYSIWYG person.  No hidden agendas here, no back stabbing, no gossiping.  I am as true a friend as one could find, I am loyal, kind and generous.  However I will not allow ANYONE to kick my feet out from under me again. EVER!  I will continue my life's journey without this person being a part of it, and enjoy my ride.  Peace

It has been about a year since my last blog

Funny how life is, some days are intense, some mellow, some, well, might want to be wished away. Many things have been taking up my blogging time. Today I am making time. My life if full of joy and some sorrow. As my body ages, my mind hurries to "do" the things I've always wanted to do. Sometimes my body wins, as in I sold my motorcycle. The vibration hurt my hip and knees to the point where I could not endure the ride. This makes me profoundly sad, as I saw my riding as a quiet form of rebellion. I have really never been a rebellious person, but this was a statement of my freedom, my "being me", my autonomy, my voice, my song. I'll have to find a new outlet for insanity that creeps into my being once in a while. Life does that to most people, but they either don't need the outlet because the insanity is less than mine, or the just blow up! I can get lost in the face of a baby, or a song, or a smell. Maybe my senses will heighten and the fragrance of the forest will be my outlet or I'll listed to music more...........I am just not sure yet what will "take me there". I promise I will let you know when I find it. Peace

It's Monday

After a great weekend, with sun, fun, friends, and Duke in tow, a new work week begins. I see each day as my journey....putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes I stumble, sometimes I stride, but I promise the journey will go forth. I see aging as a doubled edged sword. I have more wisdom, patients and kindness, but I'm running out of time. I have many kisses to give, hugs to share, and smiles to smile yet and I don't want the clock to run out. My fear level is gone, but my clock keeps ticking, how do you get everything done in one life time? How do you share all you have to give knowing that someday time will end. I guess you live each day to your fullest and hope that it's enough...........so kisses to all, hugs to all, live your life each day like it's your last day...........I wish you Peace....

As days go by

As each day of my life goes by, I am finding that I need the Lord's help in my journey. I lean, pray and seek His face daily. I see storms on the horizon, but I know that I am in His Hands, and His touch is soft and secure. I just posted a great video, it's sort of cut off, but the voice that sings the song is warm and comforting to my soul. Peace...

Wow, haven't blogged for a while!!!!!!!!!!!!

The year is almost half gone, I have spent a lot of this year in a transitional state, and now looking back..."what a waste of tiem. I had a lot of "stuff" on the inside that had to come out, it did, I'm better now. I am again going to "be", to laugh, to have fun, and to not let bad stuff try to recreate me into something I'm really not. I do love it here. It's beautiful beyond belief. The lake, the trees, the little birds that visit me everyday, and sing their songs and show their beautiful colors. We have 4 hummingbird feeders and they are always busy. Our sunflower seed feeders are emptied everyday and the thistle upside down feeders are fun to watch. We usually have around 22 pairs of doves who glean from the fallen seeds of other feeders at the 2 big feeders. Our trees are lush, our flowers are abundant, and the air has been sweet with the smell of Wild Honeysuckle. My Day Lillies are in bright bloom and my spirea, and rose are in their glory.

God has been good to us, he's blessed us with this place, He's kept Jeff working, and our kid's working, and for all of that, I'm thankful. I'm less harsh, more meek, and more soft spoken. I've learned that biting words and attitudes only hurt the ones I love and myself. So, there will be no more of that, only, Peace.....

Tea Party

I'm going today..............

there is one in a town close to me, and I'll be there with Tea Bags in hand.

Peace

25 Random things about me!

1. I am a born-again Christian

2. I believe that Jesus is the Son of God, one part of the 3

3. I know that when I die, I will spend eternity with God.

4. My favorite food is asparagus.

5. Everything interests me.6. I love to roller skate, and I still can even at this advanced age.

7. Sometimes I wish I had been more adventurous when I was younger. Like, learning how to sail a boat, or walk the Appliachian Trail, (now it's unsafe), or go to another country. Or, believe in myself more so I wouldn't be afraid to do more.

8. I have a hard time in crowds.

9. I never mind being by myself.

10. When I love someone they know it.

11. I love my children more than words can express. I love my grandchildren the same way. I'll never stop loving them even when I'm gone.

12. I have only discovered my creative side in the past few years.

13. I do not listen to the radio at home or in the car.

14. My Harley keeps me sane.

15. I love living here, but I miss my family and friends very, very much.

16. Keep looking up is the way I keep myself on course.

17. I love to travel to new places.

18. I'd love to go around the world eating the local food.

19. Life is too short.

20. It is nice to know that I am loved by so many people. My husband shows me everyday in his smile and soft touch. I am blessed.

21. I believe that everyting happens for a reason. If we look close we'll know why and understand.22. I love and hate technology at the sametime.

23. I am allergic to milk.

24. I love to cook.

25. I am wonderously made in the image of God. He knew me before I was born, and knows the number of hairs on my head. Why would I be afraid of anything?!?! Peace.

Days go by

As I look back and read my recently posted blogs I see a very selfish person. I am not that person. I am a joyous, a born-again believer. I let my circumstances dictate my mood. Shame on me. I have always had a good outlook on life even when everything around me was dark. What happened these past few months?
I think the main cause was missing my family in Iowa. Oh, poor me crept in, and bang, Nasty Woman showed her ugly head.
I have decided to live my life fully, look up for that is where my redemption comes from and stop feeling sorry for myself. Even when I was writing those biting words I knew others had it much worse than me. I am ashamed of myself and with the Lord's help, will get my kickin' spirit back. Please forgive me..........Peace

Questioning

This year of promise and change has started off rocky. I'm sick of the cold we moved from Iowa to escape. I'm sick of being in doors all the time. I'm sick of being cold. I believe my thyroid has gotten worse, I'm choking all the time and my skin is terrible dry, and my hair is thinning. Shit what else is going on. Yes, I'm usually happy, I'm happy inside, I just have to vent. The dog pees on the floor if I vent to him..........I am looking forward to spring with exuberance. Peace

Amused with myself, Part 2

I feel that I must clarify my entry from Saturday. Saturday was a blue sucky day and my entry reflected my feelings. I want to add that I have met some WONDERFUL individuals since I've been here, some face to face, some via email and blogs. I am not being a snob or stereotyping people from Kentucky, I was mearly making observations of differences in society. I don't want to be judge nor jury, but, I do have opinions though.
I do not respect nor appreciate the following things here: the political system a.k.a "the Good Ole Boys", the work ethic or lack of work ethic, or the lack in respect for others and others belongs. I find the masses of people here choose to live off the government, could care less about education, or improving themselves in any way, shape or from. They escape, thus the proliferation of drug use here. I was told that Kentuckians were fiercely independent, I have found just the opposite, they live off the government, they are lazy and very dependent on society to "fix" their self made problems. There was a time in my life that I couldn't rub two nickles together, but through determination and hard work, I am no longer in that predicament. I took no aid, I did without, and I feel good that I was not a burden, but became who I am by with I went through. Now, I'm not looking for everyone to emulate me, heck no, just stand on your own two feet. Care about yourself, your children, and their children. Poverty, ignorance, laziness begets the same. I am disappointed in many of the people of Kentucky who will go through life being a leach instead of their own person.
Now back to my original intent for this entry. I want to thank: Beverly and Jody, Millie, Maggie, Donna and Dave, Gin, Mary and Gary, and I want to mention Eileen and Craig who like us are new to Kentucky but need to be part of this group, ya'll have treated us like family and I am thankful that you are part of our new life in Kentucky. You are what real Kentuckians are and have the spirit that makes Kentuckians special and for that we are grateful. Peace has been restored.

Amused with myself

I am amused with my daughters blog in that she is 34 and has the big "W" going. "W" as in wondering what's going on in her life, that amuses me as at my age I should have a half-assed idea of what is going on in my, and I am a tad bit older than 34. So, I am amused with myself, thinking that moving 9-10 hours away would be an adventure. As these cold months drag on here in the "warm south" if find myself as cloistered as I was in Iowa. It's too damn cold to do stuff outside, and inside, well, it's inside. I have found that the cost of living is about the same as in Iowa, it's just that the salary's are far less, so money is tight. I do trust the Lord to take care of us, don't get me wrong, but tight is tight. I do make $$ doing my thing, but extras are few and far between. Now really I shouldn't be writing this at all, cuz my kids will see it and worry. So don't worry. I'm just having a "blue" day. I re watched the last "Men in Trees" episode, made me cry all over again. Sometimes things don't work out as you think they will. One is left with their mouths hanging open in surprise.
Jeff, my sweetheart has to work so many hours, he's getting older, it leaves him tired, the pay is lousy, and so he's in a rut, a rut created by this archaic society here in the small minded south. Is it that ruts are ruts, and we fall into them so easy, or does life slap you down to keep you humble? He works so much, that there is nothing left in him when he comes home or the weekend comes, nowhere to go, no energy for fun and he doesn't get paid time off, so there is nothing to look forward to, no vacations here in "Kentuckyland". We live in a beautiful home on the lake, great views, but he has to work so there is no time for fun excursions. He's too tired from working hard all day. I feel frustrated for him.
The drivers here come from hell, they are either uneducated and drive without a license, and I'm sure not insurace, or they are drunk, or high. In July I was T-boned by an ignorant bastard, he bent the frame of our car, blamed me sowe had to dip into our savings to get a new car, because he ran a red light, probably high on something, driving his momm's car, with her insurance. I must mention he hit someone else 8 days later in his momma's other car. JERK. So, we were out, I was slightly hurt, and really pissed off. Ah, did I mention that there is ignorance, drugs, thief's, liars, and cheats oh, and did I mention uneducated people in great numbers down here? They tax your ass off, and do it with a smile. "Honey or Darlin", is that word that goes with every sentence, and it's said just to keep one from smashing their faces in when they charge you up with wazoo for something that should not cost so much, because they are screwing you with a smile. You pay tax on vehicles no longer owned, now they are even taxing our insurance policy on our home, it added about $200 to our bill. JERKS!
Yes, I'm homesick, yes, I miss my kids, grand kids, friends, job and a normal society structure. Yes, there is snow, cold and misery there, but at least I know the ins and outs of the area. Here, we are "northerners", outsiders, it sucks, I mean really sucks! Jeff said last night, he feels lost, like he doesn't belong. I know he's frustrated at work with all the hubbub, drugs, and lack of skilled labor he deals with each and everyday. They bust his balls all the time, if he takes a day off here and there. They don't ask him for overtime cuz the "boss man's" son is back and he (druggie) needs the dough more than us (let's all ignore the elephant in the office, let's enable him to keep pooping on everyone!!!! BASTARDS). He was yelled at by the owner yesterday because he built a cabinet the way he was told to by the foreman. F##ers! This is a perfect example of what is dealt with daily, the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is going. I don't know if I'll ever understand this place!!! Or, fit in.....SUCKS is the word today, not peace...........I hope I find peace soon.
Pay no attention to the crazy woman behind the curtain Toto!

I learned something new this weekend!

I have learned a very important lesson this weekend in that I can't be everything to everyone. I used to love to solve problems, give me a situation, and I'll come up with a pretty good solution..........well, at least I thought it was a good solution. Ha! Well, being the "nice" person that I am, I have been trying to update a computer for a friend for the past 3 weeks. I am stopped every turn I take. Yesterday after two-and one-half hours of pulling out my hair, I have come to the conclusion, that this particular "thing" cannot be conquered! I look back on the 3 weeks given to this problem as a waste of time, time that I could have been doing fun things or being productive, instead of loosing my mind, gaining wrinkles and gray hairs. Believe me, I have lost sleep trying to wrangle something that cannot be wrangled. So, I'm beat. I'm vanquished. In other words, I quit. I surrender, give up, walk away, with my head held low. I'm frustrated, sad and perplexed. This is NOT how I want to spend my days, so from here on out, got a computer problem or any problem, get an expert, but DON'T CALL ME! I am a good wife, mother, grandmother, "virtual assistant", and jewelry designer, but I am not and cannot do everthing I think I should do. I must learn to say "no" again. Let the "Geek Squad" handle computers. I need to stay in my "happy place" in my wee little mind and watch the birds chirp, the trees sway, and have a good cup of coffee. I know I'm weak, and insipid, but I'm usually happy and happy was not the word that described me yesterday...the word vicious, and ready to drop kick a computer come to mind. I am ready for PEACE!

Thoughts from, oh I forgot what I was doing!

I guess I have too much to do, I don't sleep much, I walk into a room and forget why I'm here. Geeeeze if that's getting older, then...............yikes. I have quite a bit to do today, tomorrow, and the rest of the week, I want to procrastinate, but won't. Just as I get older, I think I'm more stubborn in what I'm willing to do, I love my independence, and will take it to the last degree, before I ultimately give in...........hahahahahaha. Oh, that was a good one.

Anyway, here are the things I want to do in 2009. Not in any certain order...

1. Loose the extra pounds I've been carrying around since my youngest daughter was born 30 years ago.

2. Yoga

3. Ride the Blue Ridge Parkway on my motorcycle

4. Eat more Thai food, yummy!!

5. Play more, work less, but make the same amount of money!

6. Get a grip on reality - #5 prompted #6

7. Delight more customers with my jewelry

8. See my family more than once a year!

9. Be assured my grandchildren actually know who I am and want to know more.....

Ok, 9 is enough, it ends with the year number 9. Simple is my mantra. Peace